Thursday, October 16, 2014

A Day of Undeserved Miracles

Yesterday went surprisingly well - much better than it should have. It started with me arriving at Math class a little late, but it was Test day, so being late didn't matter a heck of a lot as long as I was able to complete the test on time. The problem was that I couldn't. I got stuck on a problem that should have been easy, but I kept making dumb mistakes. I should have studied for the test, but I though that I already knew the material well enough. Apparently, I need to keep practicing, because that one question took me forever, and I mentioned to the teach that, though I was sure I had gotten all the questions I could answer right, I was going to get a bad grade on the test because I hadn't been able to finish it.

Just a reminder, all of this was my fault. I shouldn't have been late to class. I should have studied. I should have been fast enough and smart enough to not make those dumb mistakes and to finish the whole test on time. My comment to the teacher had mostly just been a subconscious request for generic sympathy, like when you tell someone "Of course it would rain on the one day I didn't bring my jacket" or "I stubbed my toe." You expect them to say "that's too bad," or "I'm sorry," or, in my case "better luck next time." You don't expect the person you're asking sympathy from to actually do anything about it, but my math teacher did.

He took me to his office after class and, after a brief, but friendly chat, he gave me a few extra minutes to complete the test. I told him more than once that he was being very generous and that I knew I deserved whatever grade I got. It was my fault that I didn't study and it was my fault that I was late. Had I studied and/or shown up on time, I would have had the 'extra' time that my teacher gave me. It was a really kind gesture, which I shouldn't have needed and certainly didn't deserve.

That wasn't the only undeserved miracle I received that day. I forgot a few papers from home that I thought I needed, so after completing the test, I biked home to get them, and to shave. I should have had the papers already, and I should have shaved that morning, but I miraculously had time to get home and take care of those things. This was miraculous because, when I got home, I noticed that my back tire had a leak, and though I carry the tools I need to repair a tire in my backpack while I'm biking, it's hard to carry a pool of standing water in which to find the leak you need to patch. Fortunately, I was able to create one at home and repair my flat in record time.

With my bike once again in working condition, I raced back to the school so I could get to my tutoring job on time. On the way, in my haste, I almost "tripped" and fell off my bike when I hit a bump, but I was miraculously spared that fate and I managed to get to work quickly and in one piece.

The whole day, I kept seeing little miracles, things working out for me better than they should have, and I kept thinking to myself that I didn't deserve it. God blesses me, and probably a lot of other people also, a lot more than we deserve, because He loves us. We can't pay Him back any more than I could adequately thank my Math teacher for his extra extension of human kindness. But we can express our thanks to God by doing the things that He asks of us, by keeping his commandments and showing kindness to each other. It's the least we can do, but at least it's something.

I think we all get blessings we don't deserve from time to time. Maybe we should pay that forward and be kind to others, even if they don't deserve it. Something like "Do unto others what God has done unto you." I know that's not how the golden rule really goes, but I think this one is an improvement. We should follow God's example in as many ways as possible, including by showing others my kindness than they may deserve.

1 comment:

motherof8 said...

Tender mercies! I love your humble, grateful attitude of looking for and making the best of things and learning from experiences. (Not so much the beating yourself up too much part.)

WHAT do we DESERVE? Often we feel we deserve the trials we face, even the small ones. Sometimes we don't think we merit the blessings we receive. What do we deserve? I don't know.