Sunday, August 2, 2015

Mature Love

I'm not sure I understand this.

In response to my blog post last night, my mother assured me that the love two people have for each other can grow over time, and that makes a certain amount of sense, but I also think that love can weaken over time. Perhaps it all depends on the people involved and how they deal with the problems that come up.

In his April 2015 General Conference talk, The Plan of Happiness, President Boyd K. Packer said:
And if you suppose that the full-blown rapture of young romantic love is the sum total of the possibilities which spring from the fountains of life, you have not yet lived to see the devotion and the comfort of longtime married love. Married couples are tried by temptation, misunderstandings, financial problems, family crises, and illness, and all the while love grows stronger. Mature love has a bliss not even imagined by newlyweds.
This seems somewhat contradictory to me. I don't understand how "temptation, misunderstandings, financial problems, family crises, and illness" can lead to "bliss." I'm sure you'd feel something like bliss after such trials are over, but can experiencing such trials actually improve a couple's relationship?

Perhaps it can, if they face such challenges together. Working together to overcome problems, even relationship problems, can bring two people closer together. Almost of necessity, they develop greater teamwork and a deeper appreciation for each other's strengths.

I think I've been thinking about love the wrong way. Perhaps the difference between the relationships of those who've been together for shorter or longer periods of time isn't how much they love each other, but why. Newlyweds haven't always known each other long enough to have become acquainted with all of each other's faults, and they undoubtedly learn about each others faults over time. But newlyweds also don't always see all the virtues in each other either, which they also begin to see after they've been together a while. A younger couple may be attracted to each other because they haven't seen each other's dark sides, but an older couple knows each other's dark sides as well as their light sides. Their love isn't innocent and naive, but experienced and understanding. I can clearly understand how such love as that can be much deeper and stronger than that of those who have only spent a small number of months or years together.

It's hard for me to imagine my brother and his wife loving each other more than they do now, but I'm sure that, as they get to know each other better, they will also learn to love each other better, if not more, than they already do.

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